After knowing his affair, I knew that there nothing much I can do or say. No matter what you say he will not listen. So all I do just keep myself busy with our daughter and try to be normal as much as I can.
To my astonish, their relationship ended and he back! I though everything will be ok. But, the transition period is the most painful time. He will scream and yell over the smallest thing at me. But, after I told him that I don't like and it's kind of heartless of him doing that, he stop for awhile. Then, he started going out late at night. Back only 2 or 3am in the morning. I hate it when he do that. We fight again almost everyday. Then, due some accident with his freinds he suddently stop and focus to family again. That the time he bring back pots and pots of flower. He even have new hobby...to have fishes in the aquarium. That Someting good. So, i bought him and a expensive water filter and an aquarium. Few months later the fish died. And he try to get new one, but didn't make it too. Then he stop.
At the same time his father seriously sick and has to be hospitalised for more than a month. His father has colon cancer about 2 years and condition was fatal that time. While he in the hospital my husband has to take care of him since he couldn't move much. Then, we always fighting because I used to tell him once a while he should ask his sister or brother to take care, because we at home espeacilly my daughter also need him. But, anyway, I try to understand and be patience. Help him and accompany him to visit his father whenever I can. Doctor couldn't save his father and almost two months later he died in the hospital. He so sad and its like part of him gone as well. He always told me that how he wish to be gone with his father.
A month later, we arrange some prayer ceremony for his father. We invite all relatives and friends. one of them is a friend of my sister in law. She came with her young daughter. She barely 19 years old. She loves to play with my daughter and I wasn't suspect anything till much later.
I found out my husband bought an expensive gift to her. Sending flirty sms to each other. Then, very soon after that he suddently missing. I mean, suddently I couldn't reach him. This is what I have wrote from what have happen that time:
'Read until "set your goal". Already set my goal when my sister in law called and told that his husband saw my husband's car at the girl's house. God know what they are doing inside. I thought I passed it, but my body shaking. My voice tremble. All the things I read from DR gone and replace with sad feeling followed by angry. unable to concentrate to my reading, I picked the phone and call him. He never answered, just text me, 'please send my Birthday wishes to our daughter, me come back'.
He come back at 3 or 4 am, I was sleeping with my daughter and he climb the bed to kiss her forehead and ask me what the plan for her birthday in the morning, whether I take leave or not. I reply half sleepy before he moving to living room and sleep there, as usual.
Still hurt, in the morning I talked about D things and amount that he needs to pay. He got mad and saying he rather go to jail than paying the amount, make me mad and we backfire each other all the way to work. Almost reach my office, we silince for a moment before I told him to take our daugther out for her birthday tomorrow. He agreed.Feeling guilty I text him, telling him am sorry for shouting at him and everything I have done. I wish there a way for me amend everthing and remind him that we should be friends at least for our daughter. He never reply."
It just the beginning
11 years ago
